Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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