Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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