dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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