Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
