he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
