My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I've blown a few things in my day
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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