I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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