Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
