Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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