dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
