i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
