You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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