One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
