4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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