Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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