she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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