Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
