ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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