Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
