i would punch a child for taco bell
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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