Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
