Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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