id be glad to
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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