dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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