Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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