It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
