whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
