New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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