apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
