I feel like abortions should bother me more
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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