how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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