They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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