In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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