After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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