two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
