I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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