We won't sleep together?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
