I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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