please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
