there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
