I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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