I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
