im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
