so that wasnt chicken after all
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
