You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
