Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
