i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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