Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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