apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
