Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize