The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
