This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Randomize
